Think about it: how many nursery rhymes do you really know? I can count them on one hand. The somewhat depressing Rock-A-Bye-Baby (who wants to sing about a baby plummeting out of a treetop)? Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. I can’t even think of another right now. But I DO know Christmas carols - scads of them - which is why our little one is getting a hearty dose of Away In A Manger and Jingle Bells while the calendar still shows July.

Other than singing season-inappropriate melodies, how else to get the hollering baby to settle down? Yes we swaddle, shush, rock, etc. And when all that doesn’t work, we drag out the big guns: the VACUUM CLEANER. Yup, hit the ON switch on that bad boy, and the roaring sound automatically triggers our baby’s OFF switch. It’s like a miracle. The first time we heard of that quieting technique, we scoffed and dismissed it as utter nonsense. But some time later, after a few hours of curdling baby screams, Soenke whipped out the vacuum cleaner. The results were absolutely immediate, and left us dumbfounded. I even downloaded a vacuum-cleaner-noise CD from the internet, to cover us when dragging the actual vacuum to each room feels inconvenient.

Another surefire method to quiet the crying machine is to stick something in her mouth. Normally, a pacifier would do the trick. However, our little princess KNOWS she’s a princess, and can’t be bothered with something as pedestrian as a pacifier. Nay, she requires the 100% attention of someone whose only duty in life is to lavish her with personalized attention. Hence, the index finger. She only tolerates the index finger. Which renders the owner of the finger helpless, since you need one arm to hold the baby and the other to present the holy finger. And after ages of enthusiastic suckling… she falls asleep, index finger and all… and you think your escape is nigh. But no, the second you even THINK of removing the finger, she wildly starts suckling all over again.

Babies need a lot of attention. You don’t just put them in another room and let them entertain themselves. If I so much as walk out for 2 minutes, she busts out with her best “I’m Being Murdered” cry, and I immediately come running (maybe that’s my problem). As soon as I’m in sight, she generally settles down and glares at me reproachfully. When Soenke is gone, it makes it challenging to say, shower… or… use the restroom… or, make something to eat. You’d be surprised how long a person can live on one-handed-accessible foods like crackers and apples.

Speaking of eating, if you want a sure-fire, iron-clad method to predict when she will start crying, just put a plate of food in front of mommy. Then BAM, it’s a 5-alarm fire in her lungs. Whether at home or in a restaurant, this baby of ours knows EXACTLY when mommy is about to enjoy a meal. And she knows exactly how to prevent such a thing from happening. Almost a year ago, I noticed that my friend and new mother Sally had started eating a LOT faster. It didn’t occur to me why - I assumed she was really hungry from breast feeding. NOW I UNDERSTAND. You don’t eat your food anymore as much as inhale it, without engaging in such wasteful, time-consuming activities as chewing.

And so what is the result of all this? Utter bliss. I feel like a complete goof, with stars and hearts in my eyes and silly-putty in my heart. When my little girl smiles, the sun shines brighter and the stars applaud. When she poops, it’s just the sweetest little gift ever. Her ear-splitting cries are like Mozart to my ears. I’m so full of sappy Sophie drivel that the former me is standing somewhere off to the side rolling her eyes and barfing. But the new me is totally enamoured….guess it’s the mother hormones…

Now I know this endless stream of Sophie photos/video is totally interesting to, well, probably just me and my family. But I’m posting them anyway, and feel free to ooh and ahh…

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Sophie takes an important call:

Sophie and daddy sharing a laugh:

Opa (Grandpa) Hauke loves holding his granddaughter:

Soenke actually fell asleep while Sophie suckled his finger (the only way to keep her quiet at that point!)

Mommy/daughter time:

Another gratuitous photo (don’t mind her little baby pimples! They’ll go away soon…):

A beautiful Hamburg sunset:

And finally, some more of that baby drivel that we love so much: