Today Soenke & I signed 10 years of our live away to Deutsche Bank and friends. The very good news is, the interest rate on our mortgage is fixed for 15 years, and it’s a good percentage point lower than I’d pay in the States for a comparable lock up period ! Plus, the total loan closing costs were a mere pittance compared to going rate in the US. The bad news is, there is this incredibly weird law in Germany that requires you to pay outrageous, 5-figure pre-payment penalties if you sell your home and pay off the loan before the 10 year contract period.

But Germany has managed to grown on me (good weather for 3 weeks straight has helped), so I think I’m good here for another 10 years. (That is, as long as I still get my vacation flat in Dubai. That’s next my friends….phase 3 of the Travel Diva International Real Estate Empire !)

But I get wayyyy ahead of myself. Back to Hamburg. We have done an exhaustive search of homebuilders, settling on the biggest homebuilder in Germany, who we figure has the least chance of going belly up halfway through our roof installation. (We’re smart that way.)

Now, for my American friends reading this, I would like to share a little bit about German homebuilding. They build you WALLS and a roof. And I mean, nothing else except WALLS (& roof). With an eye to improving our finished product AND gently educating our architect, I described the *very* simple built-in closet I wanted him to install in our guest room. Basic stuff, peeps: we are talking sliding mirrored doors, a big shelf, and a rod for hanging clothes. No rocket science here, but it would be nice for our guests to have somewhere to stow their luggage and duds…. And I do NOT want to buy ONE more assembly-required schrank (armoire) if I don’t have to. Those things drive me crazy. Who wants to own 5 schranks? You need a schrank in every room, or else your clutter sits out for all the world to see.

So the architect pondered my closet suggestion, then looked quizzically at me and said “why would anyone want to do that?”

I slumped back in my chair. Defeat. I was working against hundreds of years of German tradition of doing the same thing, the same way, year in, year out.

I tried to explain how homebuilding was very competitive in the States, so builders are extremely creative in making your home totally tricked out, full of nooks, crannies, architectural features, built-ins (e.g. linen cupboards), walk-in closets, spa-like bathrooms, big pantries, cool flooring…

Nope. Not in Germany. You get walls. Big heavy cement walls that you need a cement drill to bore through to hang a simple picture. Closets? Nope. Shelves? Nein. Cupboards? Uh uh. KITCHEN? NEIN NEIN NEIN! You have to buy that separately. Even colored tile is considered a wild upgrade.

BUT !!! What others see as hurdles, I see as OPPORTUNITY ! By the time I am done totally tricking out our home myself, we will have the most AWESOME, talked about home in all of Germany! People will travel by car, donkey, motorcycle, even camel from all corners of the country just to see our fabulous slate floor, our Mediterranean kitchen, our travertine-tiled (with mosaic stones too of course) bathroom, our custom made sink-cabinet combos (instead of a tiny sink sticking out of the wall…). “ NO WHITE TILE ?! “ they will exclaim, “SHOCKING! BUT BRILLIANT! And look at all that STORAGE! We LOVE IT ! GIVE US SHELVES, CUPBOARDS, ALL OF THIS AND MORE!!!” I will singlehandedly start a homebuilding coup in the region. And I look forward to it.

(By the way for my faithful readers who are impatiently drumming their fingers saying “Jen. GO SOMEWHERE ALREADY! FAR! EXOTIC!” Really, I will, soon. Just as soon as I stumble out of my tax deadline haze… we’re almost there… only 3 more weeks…)

In the meantime, here are a few pictures of house models we saw when searching homebuilders:
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A nice model called a “Mansard” (it’s more French styling, very popular here):

Our runner up choice, as it was a good size & price. By the way, notice how the windows open in German houses. Most of them also open inward as a door. Very practical for upstairs, no? And no screens. We like buzzing wildlife in our homes here in Germany.

I was speechless when I saw this model. I call it the “Quicksand House”.

Here’s the first colored tile I saw in a house model. Soenke was so excited, he jumped in the tub:

Here’s the closest I’ll get to my American-style fireplace…. an electric model ! No kidding, it plugs into the wall.

This is a *very* rough idea of what our house will look like structurally. It’s not our model, but it’s in the ballpark. And no we will not have an orange roof.