For those of you who aren’t familiar with the legendary José Cura, he is a famous international tenor whose career I have followed since 1998. He happens to be a heartthrob among tenors, and his female fans are especially loyal. (He also sings really really really really well. REALLY WELL.) As you can imagine, Soenke was not completely riveted at the idea of driving 3+ hours to Berlin in order to sit among the adoring women of the audience. To assuage his doubts, I assured Soenke that José was getting older, greyer, and significantly wider around the middle (crossing my fingers that this was, in fact, true). He begrudgingly agreed to go, if only to monitor my whereabouts and confirm that there were no tenors chasing me around after the performance.

I was slightly skeptical of the particular opera in which he would be singing – La Fanciulla del West – as it is a particularly silly creation of Puccini: an American-style cowboy-and-Indian opera, sung entirely in Italian. But I was willing to overlook this peculiarity if only to hear José’s voice live for the first time in a year and a half.

The performance coincided with the 10-year anniversary of José’s fan club, so there was a liberal sprinkling of old friends in the audience. Nettie & Sander, the happy Dutch couple who seem to never get older; Monique the really tall California girl; Chikako the Japanese club rep who routinely flies to Europe just to see José sing then flies back the next day; Heidi the redheaded German artist; and a gaggle of 60-something British women who keep me in stitches. A colorful group, fueled by champagne and great stories.

The performance itself? Pretty bueno. While the singing was excellent, Fanciulla’s music just doesn’t pack the same punch as, say, a Traviata. All the characters have standard cowboy names, so the script goes like this : “italiano italiano italiano DICK JOHNSON italiano italiano JACK italiano italiano italiano MINNIE italiano.” Further confusing things were the German supertitles above the stage, which were totally incongruous when men in Stetsons and spurs were prancing across the stage. But if you can look past all that, the performance itself was pretty flawless, and the main characters (José as cowboy Dick, Silvie Valkyre as cowgirl Minnie, and someone whose name I can’t recall as the Sheriff) did a splendid job.

The one small hiccup in the performance was José himself. I mean, I had represented to Soenke that he was getting old and, ahem, ‘filled out’. So about 20 minutes into the first act, his character marches on stage. I could practically feel Soenke’s eyes boring reproachful holes into my head as José appeared being the fittest I’d ever seen him, wearing tight leather pants and a very fitted knit top, sporting no grey hair, and clearly having spent some time at the gym. I cringed and tried to pretend not to notice.

It got worse.

During the 2nd act, there is a love scene. So as to demonstrate to the audience that he was still in his youthful “black belt” form, José REMOVES HIS SHIRT and practically flexes each muscle on his chest and arms. At this point I am choking back laughter because I KNOW I am in so much trouble. Soenke will NEVER believe a WORD I say ever again. I am seriously in danger of being kicked out of the auditorium as my shoulders shake with hysteria and I try not to snort. Soenke is telepathically confirming that “you are in SO much trouble, babe”. I’m trying to think of dead fish and root canals in order to quiet myself back down. It’s not easy.

Between the second and final act, I ran into José’s wife in the lobby – she is an absolutely gorgeous woman with an incredibly petite figure considering she has popped out THREE children. They must both spend a lot of time at the gym. I should try that.

Afterwards, the ardent fans queued up in the foyer for signatures (I don’t know why – who cares about signatures? We want photos!) and a brief hello. José charged out, still in costume, scribbled his name on about 100 pieces of whatever, then reached me. Soenke was off drinking a Coke and gnoshing on a pretzel, so he missed the big smile, enthusiastic cheek kisses and a “hey, are you guys coming to see me in New York in November?”. Uh, oops, um, NO… I’ll be vacationing somewhere in the Southern Hemisphere where it’s warm. But hopefully I’ll get a pirated audio version of the performance afterwards. You don’t mind, do you?

And with a smile, he was gone. I removed my look-marvelous-feel-like-hell silver pumps, and padded barefoot outside. Soenke breathed a sigh of relief that he had earned his release from opera hell for at least a few weeks. I prepared for a tongue lashing on the long drive home !

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My photos are terrible, and I apologize. It’s that damn auto-focus at high zoom…

A fifth curtain call for the approving fans:

Still with “blood” from a stage gunshot, José signs this & that for his fans:

Our group photo, with Chikako, Heidi, Sander (back), me, Nettie (back), and Monique:

Today Soenke & I signed 10 years of our live away to Deutsche Bank and friends. The very good news is, the interest rate on our mortgage is fixed for 15 years, and it’s a good percentage point lower than I’d pay in the States for a comparable lock up period ! Plus, the total loan closing costs were a mere pittance compared to going rate in the US. The bad news is, there is this incredibly weird law in Germany that requires you to pay outrageous, 5-figure pre-payment penalties if you sell your home and pay off the loan before the 10 year contract period.

But Germany has managed to grown on me (good weather for 3 weeks straight has helped), so I think I’m good here for another 10 years. (That is, as long as I still get my vacation flat in Dubai. That’s next my friends….phase 3 of the Travel Diva International Real Estate Empire !)

But I get wayyyy ahead of myself. Back to Hamburg. We have done an exhaustive search of homebuilders, settling on the biggest homebuilder in Germany, who we figure has the least chance of going belly up halfway through our roof installation. (We’re smart that way.)

Now, for my American friends reading this, I would like to share a little bit about German homebuilding. They build you WALLS and a roof. And I mean, nothing else except WALLS (& roof). With an eye to improving our finished product AND gently educating our architect, I described the *very* simple built-in closet I wanted him to install in our guest room. Basic stuff, peeps: we are talking sliding mirrored doors, a big shelf, and a rod for hanging clothes. No rocket science here, but it would be nice for our guests to have somewhere to stow their luggage and duds…. And I do NOT want to buy ONE more assembly-required schrank (armoire) if I don’t have to. Those things drive me crazy. Who wants to own 5 schranks? You need a schrank in every room, or else your clutter sits out for all the world to see.

So the architect pondered my closet suggestion, then looked quizzically at me and said “why would anyone want to do that?”

I slumped back in my chair. Defeat. I was working against hundreds of years of German tradition of doing the same thing, the same way, year in, year out.

I tried to explain how homebuilding was very competitive in the States, so builders are extremely creative in making your home totally tricked out, full of nooks, crannies, architectural features, built-ins (e.g. linen cupboards), walk-in closets, spa-like bathrooms, big pantries, cool flooring…

Nope. Not in Germany. You get walls. Big heavy cement walls that you need a cement drill to bore through to hang a simple picture. Closets? Nope. Shelves? Nein. Cupboards? Uh uh. KITCHEN? NEIN NEIN NEIN! You have to buy that separately. Even colored tile is considered a wild upgrade.

BUT !!! What others see as hurdles, I see as OPPORTUNITY ! By the time I am done totally tricking out our home myself, we will have the most AWESOME, talked about home in all of Germany! People will travel by car, donkey, motorcycle, even camel from all corners of the country just to see our fabulous slate floor, our Mediterranean kitchen, our travertine-tiled (with mosaic stones too of course) bathroom, our custom made sink-cabinet combos (instead of a tiny sink sticking out of the wall…). “ NO WHITE TILE ?! “ they will exclaim, “SHOCKING! BUT BRILLIANT! And look at all that STORAGE! We LOVE IT ! GIVE US SHELVES, CUPBOARDS, ALL OF THIS AND MORE!!!” I will singlehandedly start a homebuilding coup in the region. And I look forward to it.

(By the way for my faithful readers who are impatiently drumming their fingers saying “Jen. GO SOMEWHERE ALREADY! FAR! EXOTIC!” Really, I will, soon. Just as soon as I stumble out of my tax deadline haze… we’re almost there… only 3 more weeks…)

In the meantime, here are a few pictures of house models we saw when searching homebuilders:
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A nice model called a “Mansard” (it’s more French styling, very popular here):

Our runner up choice, as it was a good size & price. By the way, notice how the windows open in German houses. Most of them also open inward as a door. Very practical for upstairs, no? And no screens. We like buzzing wildlife in our homes here in Germany.

I was speechless when I saw this model. I call it the “Quicksand House”.

Here’s the first colored tile I saw in a house model. Soenke was so excited, he jumped in the tub:

Here’s the closest I’ll get to my American-style fireplace…. an electric model ! No kidding, it plugs into the wall.

This is a *very* rough idea of what our house will look like structurally. It’s not our model, but it’s in the ballpark. And no we will not have an orange roof.