For “Joannie”, an Ode to Italy…
We have a long-time family friend I’ll call “Joannie”. (You know who you are, “Joannie”.) Joannie is the nicest and sharpest gal you’ll ever meet. She’s traveled frequently in the course of her work, but incredibly, no airplane she’s ever boarded has ventured past US soil into the great beyond. And now, freshly retired, Joannie is mulling over the idea of going to Rome with a singing group she’s involved with. Problem is, months later, she’s STILL MULLING IT OVER.
Joannie, Joannie…. (as I wail and clasp my hands to my head…) Have I failed to whet your appetite for the great adventures that lie across vast oceans? Have I not planted in you the seeds of a glamorous life of international art, music, wine, cuisine… shopping in a foreign currency?! Have I not led you straight to the water’s edge? Now, my child, you must drink!
As a public service, I thought I would paint a special picture just for “Joannie”… enumerating the possibilities that lay in the road less traveled…. the gems that are scattered across her future, just waiting to hypnotize her with their European sparkle …
1. The first time you board a plane headed for Europe, you will embark on weeks of magical “firsts”… something you probably haven’t experienced in many moons, if you are the average adult. As the plane hurtles down the runway, you become acutely aware that the next time you touch the earth, you’ll be ACROSS THE OCEAN, IN A FOREIGN COUNTRY. Goosebumps… excitement….butterflies…. hey wait a second, is my life insurance policy paid up? I mean, what if this thing goes down in a ball of flames over Greenland? Where’s the exit row? I could be fish food! (No worries, that moment will quickly pass as soon as flight attendant hands you that glass of chilled champagne…)
2. Twelve agonizing, muscle-stiffening hours later… when you gaze down from your 8 inches of leg room and see Italy rushing up to meet you, you’ll think you’ve descended into a Van Gogh painting…. rich golds, rolling fields, quaint hilltop villages. You’ll start fantasizing about homemade pasta and Chianti. You’re already imagining that you’re Diane Lane in “Under The Tuscan Sun”… You suddenly remember all those hot Italian men she met in the movie…
3. “Buena sera, signorina !” Those Italians don’t just speak, they sing! And don’t worry…they also speak English (phew!). They have to, as every other tourist in Italy is American.
4. Your taxi whisks you into the city center for dinner… the sun glows pink on the Mediterranean buildings, with their green shutters thrown wide open and window boxes of geraniums tumbling down the terra cotta walls… strains of Verdi echo down the cobblestone alley that your taxi driver is dangerously maneuvering at about 65 MPH, probably driving the wrong way down a one-way street… you’re eyes are big as saucers and your grin even bigger.. .OH MY GAWD, IT’S ITALY! FABULOUS! ROMANTICO! I’M HERE!….wait, I think we just ran over 2 scooters and an Italian grandma. Get me the hell out of this taxi.
5. Your first glimpse of the magnificent Coliseum is breathtaking… live.. in real life… you’re HERE! You’re caught away to the fascinating and sordid past of the stadium…how could people possibly enjoy watching their neighbors be eaten by lions? Totally gross. But then again, Russell Crow made it all look pretty cool in “Gladiator”…
6. And then, you finally made it… to the legendary VATICAN. Yup, there’s the most famous chimney in the world, the focal point of “PopeWatch 2005”. Inside…the soaring ceilings, breathtaking art, Bernini arches… dude, wow. And look at those ridiculous costumes the guards have had to wear for hundreds of embarrassing years. You send a postcard to all your Catholic friends from the Vatican City’s own little post office. You say “grazie” for the first time without giggling. And around the corner….the Sistine Chapel. You come, you gaze, you drool, your neck hurts from looking up too long… Magnifico!
7. So much art, so many ruins, you’re pooped. Time for a gelato! Do as centuries of Italians and visitors alike have done: sit yourself comfortably on the renown Spanish Steps with a refreshing gelato, and people watch as long as you can stand it (your aching feet will thank you).
8. Time to shop. What’s more Italian than leather?! Go find yourself that fabulous leather coat you’ve been dying to have. And have you noticed that every single Italian has incredible sunglasses? Go native – get some! Big, flashy, with an expensive logo on the side (fake, not fake, who cares?!). Now you feel glamorous… cosmopolitan… a little broke… but you’re morphing ITALIANA!
9. Enjoy the sunset at an outdoor café on the Piazza Navona. Splurge on a glass (bottle? or two?) of something incredible, aged, and red… a Barolo… a Chianti Classico Riserva… perhaps a Barbaresco… bellisimo!
10. And finally, with your hot new look, that red tube of lipstick you picked up at Rinascente, your fancy leather duds… your new world-traveled sass.. you…you… gulp…
SO BOOK THE DAMN TICKET ALREADY!
P.S. Business class. Do it. You earned it!
P.S.S. I’ll come meet you for dinner…
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Now hopefully these will get you in the mood:
August 24th, 2006 at 6:08 pm
Good job, Jen!! I’ll go if Joannie won’t!!
August 24th, 2006 at 8:00 pm
Ditto to what Mom said!
I’ll probably come anyways… even if Joannie hops on that plane.
August 26th, 2006 at 2:01 pm
this is an outstanding post. im so tired of trying to justify travel to my friends who are afraid to go by themselves…you hit all the high points.
August 27th, 2006 at 11:31 am
I love Rome (it was the first place I ever traveled to alone and outside of the US) and your photos are beautiful. If you get time in your travels be sure to explore Liguria… it’s a region I hadn’t thought to visit and then wondered why I’d been so stupid.
Thanks for comments on the Fish Tagine piece– I do also own Paula’s book(s). Another great source of recipes is Hassan M’Souli’s “Moroccan Modern,” which is more in line with “New” food.
Enjoy your travels! I’m envious!