There is something particularly gratifying about waking up and realizing that you live a mere hour away from a good, old-fashioned CASTLE! And not just one of the Disney variety.

So to pick up some royal decorating ideas for our new home, I donned my crown and we hit the autobahn in the direction of Schwerin - the location of North Germany’s most famous castle, set in fairy-tail manner on a small island in a big lake. (I was a little disappointed there was no drawbridge and moat – but, you can’t have everything.)

In Schwerin’s historic city center, I felt like we were taking a step back in time – wayyyy back. I almost half expected horse drawn carriages and people in powdered wigs to be filling the streets. Since Schwerin was once a great center of high thought and art (maybe it still is?), it was called the “Florence of the North”. Incidentally, Hamburg - with its many waterways - is called the “Venice of the North”. And the Schwerin castle itself is modeled after the French Renaissance Chambord castle. I quietly wondered to myself why the North Germans, with all their cool architecture and interesting city designs, didn’t just establish their own ways of being instead of trying to be versions of other places. But, another topic for another day.

The castle interior was duly impressive – typical ‘I’m-A-European-Castle’ stuff. A red room with heavy damask wallpaper and wood paneling. A blue room with heavy damask wallpaper and wood paneling. Fabulous artwork and innovative wall paintings. Parquet floors with intricate designs. And, most importantly, the THRONE ROOM. (Unfortunately a cranky guard wouldn’t let me snap photos of the gigantic red-velvet-and-gold-gilded throne.) Soenke was incredibly excited and thought this was one of the top decorating ideas for our home. He thought to call it “Soenke’s Throne Room”, with the idea that respects would be paid and dinner would be served to the man seated in the throne (him). Sadly, the Einfeldt-Crawford Decorating Committee had to immediately veto that idea.

We kept our eyes and ears peeled for “Petermännchen” – the legendary ghost who has haunted the castle for centuries. This is a particularly busy ghost, keeping himself highly involved in the affairs of the castle – hence, legends abound. He whispered in our ear that “the strawberry cake is really good at the outdoor café”, so we obliged and moved on…

Outside, the Orangerie (summer garden) was in full glory, with potted orange trees – ala Versailles – and a huge array of potted plants from every warm-weather corner of the world. During the winter, they are all moved to the surrounding greenhouse quarters. Some Greek-ish columns enclosed the garden , providing a picturesque view over the lake and its busy sailboats. Soenke admired the spinning fountain - which managed to throw off a huge amount of water in all directions, but not a millimeter past the edge of the fountain’s base (there’s your fine German engineering at work).

In accordance with our ghostly advice, we paused for coffee-and-kuchen at the Orangerie café (the strawberry cake was delicious), and enjoyed being dive bombed by Germany’s ever-present summer wasps. I’m sure Petermännchen enjoyed that spectacle – Soenke trying to flip a wasp out of his cappuccino with a fork without getting stung. Meanwhile, I pondered how we could install a big spinning fountain into our back yard.

The rest of the afternoon was spent browsing the narrow streets of Schwerin’s “aldstadt” (old city). As in every German city during the summer, there was some sort of drinking festival in progress – in this case, the Wine Festival. In amusing contrast, just two streets away was the annual Health Festival. People lined up en masse to get free blood sugar tests (not sure if they had imbibed at the Wine Festival first – I mean, why else would you allow someone to poke you with a needle when you’re not dying?).

We strolled, absorbed the healthy feeling, and simply enjoyed the camaraderie of happy Germans out on a Saturday afternoon. A pleasant lunch outside capped our perfect day, and we headed back to Hamburg feeling 68% more royal than when we left.

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Some photos of our sojourn:

What a castle !

A nice view back across the castle bridge:

A view of the Orangerie’s fountain and a peek to the lake beyond:

No really, he DOES like the strawberry cake:

That’s me guarding some rocks:

A big batch of red flowers captures my attention:

One of the many quaint alleys in town:

What a great door !

And now… a visual Autobahn experience. Now, the cars WERE really going fast, but I guess my video just couldn’t capture their blazing speed…

We have a long-time family friend I’ll call “Joannie”. (You know who you are, “Joannie”.) Joannie is the nicest and sharpest gal you’ll ever meet. She’s traveled frequently in the course of her work, but incredibly, no airplane she’s ever boarded has ventured past US soil into the great beyond. And now, freshly retired, Joannie is mulling over the idea of going to Rome with a singing group she’s involved with. Problem is, months later, she’s STILL MULLING IT OVER.

Joannie, Joannie…. (as I wail and clasp my hands to my head…) Have I failed to whet your appetite for the great adventures that lie across vast oceans? Have I not planted in you the seeds of a glamorous life of international art, music, wine, cuisine… shopping in a foreign currency?! Have I not led you straight to the water’s edge? Now, my child, you must drink!

As a public service, I thought I would paint a special picture just for “Joannie”… enumerating the possibilities that lay in the road less traveled…. the gems that are scattered across her future, just waiting to hypnotize her with their European sparkle …

1. The first time you board a plane headed for Europe, you will embark on weeks of magical “firsts”… something you probably haven’t experienced in many moons, if you are the average adult. As the plane hurtles down the runway, you become acutely aware that the next time you touch the earth, you’ll be ACROSS THE OCEAN, IN A FOREIGN COUNTRY. Goosebumps… excitement….butterflies…. hey wait a second, is my life insurance policy paid up? I mean, what if this thing goes down in a ball of flames over Greenland? Where’s the exit row? I could be fish food! (No worries, that moment will quickly pass as soon as flight attendant hands you that glass of chilled champagne…)
2. Twelve agonizing, muscle-stiffening hours later… when you gaze down from your 8 inches of leg room and see Italy rushing up to meet you, you’ll think you’ve descended into a Van Gogh painting…. rich golds, rolling fields, quaint hilltop villages. You’ll start fantasizing about homemade pasta and Chianti. You’re already imagining that you’re Diane Lane in “Under The Tuscan Sun”… You suddenly remember all those hot Italian men she met in the movie…
3. “Buena sera, signorina !” Those Italians don’t just speak, they sing! And don’t worry…they also speak English (phew!). They have to, as every other tourist in Italy is American.
4. Your taxi whisks you into the city center for dinner… the sun glows pink on the Mediterranean buildings, with their green shutters thrown wide open and window boxes of geraniums tumbling down the terra cotta walls… strains of Verdi echo down the cobblestone alley that your taxi driver is dangerously maneuvering at about 65 MPH, probably driving the wrong way down a one-way street… you’re eyes are big as saucers and your grin even bigger.. .OH MY GAWD, IT’S ITALY! FABULOUS! ROMANTICO! I’M HERE!….wait, I think we just ran over 2 scooters and an Italian grandma. Get me the hell out of this taxi.
5. Your first glimpse of the magnificent Coliseum is breathtaking… live.. in real life… you’re HERE! You’re caught away to the fascinating and sordid past of the stadium…how could people possibly enjoy watching their neighbors be eaten by lions? Totally gross. But then again, Russell Crow made it all look pretty cool in “Gladiator”…
6. And then, you finally made it… to the legendary VATICAN. Yup, there’s the most famous chimney in the world, the focal point of “PopeWatch 2005”. Inside…the soaring ceilings, breathtaking art, Bernini arches… dude, wow. And look at those ridiculous costumes the guards have had to wear for hundreds of embarrassing years. You send a postcard to all your Catholic friends from the Vatican City’s own little post office. You say “grazie” for the first time without giggling. And around the corner….the Sistine Chapel. You come, you gaze, you drool, your neck hurts from looking up too long… Magnifico!
7. So much art, so many ruins, you’re pooped. Time for a gelato! Do as centuries of Italians and visitors alike have done: sit yourself comfortably on the renown Spanish Steps with a refreshing gelato, and people watch as long as you can stand it (your aching feet will thank you).
8. Time to shop. What’s more Italian than leather?! Go find yourself that fabulous leather coat you’ve been dying to have. And have you noticed that every single Italian has incredible sunglasses? Go native – get some! Big, flashy, with an expensive logo on the side (fake, not fake, who cares?!). Now you feel glamorous… cosmopolitan… a little broke… but you’re morphing ITALIANA!
9. Enjoy the sunset at an outdoor café on the Piazza Navona. Splurge on a glass (bottle? or two?) of something incredible, aged, and red… a Barolo… a Chianti Classico Riserva… perhaps a Barbaresco… bellisimo!
10. And finally, with your hot new look, that red tube of lipstick you picked up at Rinascente, your fancy leather duds… your new world-traveled sass.. you…you… gulp… … you FLIRT. SHAMELESSLY. Everywhere you go. Older… younger… who cares?! Italian men truly appreciate women like no other ! Curves, no curves, wrinkles, no wrinkles… it’s ALL gorgeous when you’re in Italy!

SO BOOK THE DAMN TICKET ALREADY!

P.S. Business class. Do it. You earned it!

P.S.S. I’ll come meet you for dinner…

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Now hopefully these will get you in the mood: