Everything seemed so normal on the flight last week from LA to Frankfurt. I mean, yes, there were the usual quirky moments, like the transvestite security agent at the Frankfurt airport, or the casual brush with Fabio in the passport line at LAX (yes, that’s Fabio the famous model from the covers of all those bodice-ripping novels… more recently famed for his unfortunate encounter with a bird on a roller coaster in So Cal). So I wasn’t entirely prepared for the surprise once we got to the LAX luggage belt.

We simply waited.

And waited.

And everyone else waited too.

For hours…

…jetlagged, disoriented, and gazing enviously at passengers from other flights who happily grabbed their luggage and escaped from LAX’s underground luggage prison…

And finally …rumors spread that ‘they’ absolutely could NOT get the door on the luggage compartment open. That’s 300 Lufthansa passengers without luggage. I mean, how can you not get the door open? Are you telling me that there is NO ONE at one of the busiest international airports in the world who knows how to work the doors on a 747 ? I pulled out my Mr-Seven-Hands screwdriver and graciously offered to lend a hand, but there were no takers. Instead, some genius at Lufthansa said “hey, send the plane back to Frankfurt and we’ll deal with it here”.

WHAT ?! WHAT ABOUT OUR STUFF ?! I HAVE CUTE SHOES IN THAT LUGGAGE COMPARTMENT !!

So back the plane went, to Germany. Somehow they got another 300 passengers on the plane, too (AND all their luggage – presumably in another compartment?).

Back at the luggage belt, I observed a young mother with an infant and a toddler. She asked the Lufthansa guy “what am I supposed to do without baby seats?” Another couple was on their way to New Zealand that same day via Australia, and had no address at their destination. They wondered if they’d ever see their bags again in this lifetime. I conversed with a German gal in the ladies’ room, and we secretly agreed this event had the potential to be God’s gift to women: NOW WE MUST GO SHOPPING !! (but we have to pretend like it’s a big hassle, see…) The other girl decided she was going to acquire the “So Cal beach bunny” wardrobe, and I sagely recommended sassy halter tops, colorful sarongs, and flip flops with flowers on top.

So anyhow we finally exited baggage claim….bagless… on that Friday afternoon, and were enthusiastically greeted by Mom with her homemade sweets and big hugs! THANKS MOM!

Saturday came, and then Sunday…… still no luggage. At around noon on Sunday, it was time to head for my friend Deanna’s wedding (yes the same jetsetting Deanna that we met up with in Zurich & Paris last summer). Soenke once again put on the clothes he had worn on the airplane (day three, still smelling ok, I can confirm), & I threw something together from the remnants in my California closet. I donned high heels for the first time in over year, & Soenke pronounced me “HOT”.

Off to Temecula, southern California’s wine country, for a totally gorgeous So Cal wedding. Brian and Deanna tied the knot outside, surrounded by vineyards, friends, and sunshine. The reception was gorgeous – inside a big tent with freeflowing champagne, delicious food, and fantastic music. Deanna looked STUNNING – her dress was like a piece of fine art. Even their dog joined the fun, sporting a little sign saying “Just Married”! THANK YOU DEANNA FOR INVITING US, WE HAD A WUNDERBAR TIME!

[Our luggage finally did arrive on Monday night, and looked like it had been hurled from the airplane at 30,000 feet. Whatever….we were just happy to have clean underwear!]

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Deanna & Brian just pronounced “Man & Wife” !

Their dog joins the fun:

Enjoying the reception:

Deanna’s friend has HOT SHOES!

It’s only 11 days into the new year, and I am already losing steadily in the “What Should I Do In 2006” poll. Soenke of course is ecstatic at the results – he’s running around making round-belly motions with his arms, trying to photograph my midriff when I least expect it, dragging me into baby stores, buying stuffed animals that jiggle and sing when you touch them, and deciding on whether he’d like to be called the German “papa” or the American “daddy”. He’s hopeless!

And so, I have been surveying the masses for popular opinion on parenthood. I mean, I’m a professional traveler, after all. Do professional travelers have babies? My friends with children generally coo “ahhhh, it’s so lovely, it changes your life (NOTE: WHAT EXACTLY DOES *THAT* MEAN) but you will love seeing your child grow up”… and my friends without children say “but aha! we have so much freedom! we are so glad we never took the plunge.” What shall I believe?! And how do I coordinate “a flat in Dubai” with “a sporty new diaper bag”?

My friend Lin, 50-something and gorgeous, suggests that she loves her children (now in their 20s), but she would have done something very different with her life had she not given birth. Would I feel like that if I had kids? I mean, I’m just getting rolling!

I can tell you that my friends with children are not browsing in Helsinki on Monday, lunching in Paris on Thursday, and overflying Naples on Sunday. They are, however, buying breast pumps, going to toddler karate classes, and eating a lot of chicken stars. I mean, that sounds nice too, but what about PARIS?!

So to aid the deductive process, I have compiled a small list of what Jennifer likes to do, to see how it coordinates with parenthood:

1. Shop & sightsee in foreign cities (especially DUBAI and PARIS)
2. Fly in airplanes, particularly ones that Soenke is flying
3. Hang out in airports (Munich is a good one)
4. Sleep at least 9 hours per night – uninterrupted!
5. Read books, sometimes for hours at a time
6. Get regular massages
7. Go to our Hamburg spa/fitness for a workout then some naked swimming
8. Lay by the pool at my place in Southern California
9. Attend the opera (usually in foreign cities) & drink champagne with my crazy opera girlfriends
10. Write silly blog entries about my foreign experiences

Obviously, we have a discernable conflict of interests here. I guess for now I go back to the drawing board… (people, PLEASE vote for me to write a book or something!)

And in other news, the dynamic duo heads to SO CAL on Friday – to move my stuff into the new crash pad, and to THAW OUT! (Temps are about 70F/20C there at the moment – not exactly beach weather, but it least there’s no snow on the ground).