Aloha !

Veni, vidi, velaxi ! (we came, we saw, we RELAXED!). With the laid back attitude of the islands, who can do much else? But, there are some rules on the islands. They require you to remove your watch, tie, & socks upon landing (although, lord help you men if you even THOUGHT to wear a tie). Replace with Hawaiian shirt & flip flops. Then, the required ritual is to toss your cellphone in the ocean. From there, things just feel better.

We stayed on the southernmost, largest island (the “Big Island”) in the chain of islands comprising Hawaii. It boasts the world’s most active volcano, which has been erupting continuously since 1983. With that kind of seismic activity, you tend to keep your running shoes on at all times.

Our fabulous lodging was The Sheraton at Keauhou Bay (I’m sure “Keauhou” means “Paradise With Pineapple Daquiris Included” in Hawaiian). The hotel, recently remodeled & reopened, included a beautiful fantasy pool with palm trees and grottoes and rock channels and a WATER SLIDE. I, of course, thought “hmm, perhaps I should test the waterslide to determine its…er… ’safety’.. for children…”.. and so we tested its safety about 72 times, including its resilience to loud yelling & hollering on the way down. To ensure a comprehensive safety analysis, I asked the lifeguard at the top of the slide under what conditions could you get going SO FAST on this thing that you get TOTALLY AIRBORNE ?!?!?. I noticed about 20 other adults testing its safety over the course of the week (including the hollering test) & possibly not even one child.

Another particularly enjoyable experience was snorkeling in one of the bays with colorful tropical fish & even some sea turtles. We have decided that the sea turtle is our Official Mascot. It just floats along with the current in a state of extreme chillin’, not stressing about a thing, & lets everything bounce off its shell. Many lessons to be learned from the sea turtle. In between snorkeling gigs, we laid on the sand under the palm trees (of course after doing a quick visual coconut check to avoid possible concussions).

We also made a few driving expeditions while on the island. The first was a drive down to ‘South Point’, the southernmost tip of the island, which is also the southernmost point in the USA and certainly the edge of the universe (it felt like it). It is normally VERY windswept, hence old gigantic wind turbines with propellers ripped off, and many headless palm trees. The road down is pretty bumpy & narrow, and we had a Chrysler something-or-other rental car. At the time, I didn’t notice the big red letters on the rental car map that said “DON’T DRIVE ON SOUTHPOINT ROAD IN RENTAL CARS”. Whatever. When the lower side panel of our car accidentally, er, uh, ‘fell off’ during our expedition, we just threw it in the trunk & moved on. The point itself was beautiful, exotic, remote & felt like the edge of eternity. We did some hiking and photo shooting, and just watched the waves crash for what felt like hours. I fully expected some UFOs to come visit us there, but we must have missed them by a few minutes. Damn.

Our second expedition was an amazing night tour to THE VOLCANO… The Cauldron of Creation… now THAT was an experience. The energy there was so intense that I thought my head would blow off my shoulders. AWESOME. It was pitch dark by the time we got there (most folks were on the way out of the park). We had flashlights & water, & hiked over a dried lava flow that had covered the road back in 2003. You could see a flow of red lava hot spots down the side of the mountain, hear the waves crashing somewhere off in the distance, & see a million stars all at the same time. Totally mystical & peaceful. We sat there in the darkness & contemplated nature’s act of creation (but again, with running shoes on…). The moments there were very profound.

To summarize the trip: MONUMENTALLY RELAXING AND REINVIGORATING. By the end of the week, the need for conversation was almost gone. A raised right eyebrow meant ‘hey do you want to go up the waterslide again?!?’, while a twitch of the finger meant ‘it’s coconut-umbrella-drink time’. Soenke had given up shaving, & I was looking at my makeup bag wondering what all that weird stuff was for.

Nothing like a week in Paradise to put your head back on straight.

Mahalo!

Photos:

Soenke reluctantly buys proper West Coast swim trunks (must have flowers!):

Getting lei’d at the airport! :

A small part of the fabulous hotel pool:

At the beautiful & peaceful “Place of Refuge” :

Keauhou Bay, next to our hotel:

Results of my offroading efforts in the Chrysler rental car:

Our replacement jeep (much more effective!):

Hanging out at the volcano:

Feeling relaxed & very happy!:

Hawaiian danger sign (?!) :